Which Reality Do You Belong To?

Recently, A.C.Toy reached out to see if I would be interested in reviewing her debut book, The Daisy Chain Reaction as it has a main side character, Violet, who is Deaf. Violet may be the one who is noted as a deaf character, but her boyfriend (eventual husband) is hard-of-hearing and wears hearing aids (Cam). So, there are 2 Deaf and Hard-of-Hearing characters.

I put the book aside to read my book club book but I wish I hadn't. From halfway on, I was so immersed in the story, I couldn't stop reading.

“That’s the thing about dreams - they blur the line between what’s real and what’s not. … sometimes waking up doesn’t bring clarity. Sometimes, it leaves you wondering which reality you belong to.”

It is gripping. It is emotional. It is CHAMP.

And, I absolutely recommend it.

The Daisy Chain Reaction by A.C. Toy

“Do you think nightmares are just our mind playing tricks on us, or could they be trying to warn us that something bad is going to happen - something we can’t see yet?”

While it is noted as psychological thriller, it is really both that and an emotional story.

The story follows Rose, a journalist that works out of a local coffee shop. She, along with her sister Violet, who is deaf, and friend Mei, call themselves "The Daisy Chain" as all their names are flower names. Suddenly, it seems like Rose's life is gone and she is trapped in a series of time lapses. She wakes up in a space she calls, "The Room" and eventually, the boundaries between reality and The Room begin to blur.

She realizes that she is losing time and Rose has to confront the possibility that her mind is being manipulated and she is desperate to communicate - so much so that she learns Morse code through blinking, which is the only thing that she can control in The Room - her eyes.

Deaf Representation

The author herself is hard-of-hearing and knows and uses ASL (American Sign Language). At the beginning of her book, she added in an author's note that details why she has a deaf character, as well as explaining the ASL Slang words that she used within the book. I love how she incorporated ASL slang into everyday sentences. For example, Rose stated at one point, "That nap was CHAMP." Or when Rose and Violet were crying at Violet's wedding, Violet signed, "OK FISH" and that is how A.C. Toy wrote the sentence. She didn't add "Okay, we're finished with crying!" But just the slang.

Additionally, in the book, Rose is adamant that everyone who would be in her life (dating, hanging around) would know ASL so that Violet would always be included. During the times that Rose, Violet and Mei met up, they only spoke in sign language. To have that in a book, and show how much her sister - and friend - really cared that Violet understood and felt included is incredible. They also only used video-chat or text to illustrate how they would contact them rather than ringing them up on the phone.

I will say that only one thing that I would like to see changed - I would've preferred to see that ASL was represented in the dialogue in italics to differentiate between spoken English and sign.

Grief and Trauma

Not only did this book have Deaf representation and a truly intriguing twist, but also it dealt with theme of trauma and grief. You see Rose going to a therapist and talking about how she is still affected years later from how she was raised (to watch out for her sister, interpreting, cooking, cleaning, etc.). One quote really stuck out to me:

“What happens to us in our developmental years affects how we communicate and how we handle emotions, even as an adult.”

It also delved into Rose's need to be the best, to work harder to stand out - all so that she felt like someone thought she was worthy. This quote summed it up and I completely related and it hit hard to read:

"Back then I thought working harder and being better was the only way to stand out. To be noticed. To be worthy. That same work ethic carried me through my adult life...all my hard work has been for what? To prove I deserve to take up space? That I matter to anyone or anything?"

I feel that many people could relate - can you?

Final Thoughts

This book is not just a psychological thriller. It is more. It discusses childhood trauma and how it affects you as an adult. It deals with the fear of needing psychiatric help and the shame and emotions you can feel. It deals with loneliness and feeling trapped. It has lovely parts of a new love, a stable love, and a love who tries for you. It has the sisterhood that you always wanted. And, it has the reminder to be present for you never know what would happen.

“What if I’m not me anymore? What if this has never been me?”

It’s a DEAFinite read and has gone on my book list. Give the author a follow on TikTok and Instagram!

PS - I am a little annoyed that she made me cry... but I loved the book!

If you'd like to see the ASL review, click HERE.

Happy Reading!